NAKED SHARK BAIT
1-9-08
By Corky Carroll

I get a lot of stories sent in to me via email and many of them are really funny or interesting is some sort of way. From time to time I like to share one or two of these with you. In response to my series on the Darker Side of Surfing I got this story from a dude named Tim Hennings. It deals with surfing naked and being chased by a shark. Here it is.

“I have a quick surf story for you. I had gone down south to Black's beach in San Diego this one time with a sexy new gal on a bright sunny day. I had surfed and was lying on the beach with her when I decided to go back in the water again. It wasn't easy tearing myself away from my new squeeze's hot bikini body, but a macho feeling inside me said to myself "Hey, I'm at Black's, (which is a nude beach), lets try nude surfing!" So, out to the line up I went. It was about noon, and the water was crystal aqua blue, and I paddled out over the shorebreak and sat up on my board. The glare off the water was so intense you could hardly see below the surface, but when you did you could see quite far. Anyways, I sat out there for about 2 minutes, and I glanced down about 10 feet away at the water's surface. After my eyes looked to the sand bottom, I see this dark figure serenely swimming (you know what's coming!) away from me in a side-to-side motion. It was obviously a fish, about 1-2ft wide, and then I caught the length of it, 6 to 8 ft. long! Than a huge neon light flashed through my head with the words "THAT'S A SHARK!''. The panic that set in was turbo-fueled by my vulnerability of being completely nude, and I started to freak out. The neon sign was back, this time saying, "What if he turns around and comes back?" I started to paddle towards shore, harder and harder. After 10 seconds of furious paddling, my now fearful mind knew that if the shark had doubled back, he would be right on my heels by now. In my mind the shark was closing in, 3 feet, 2 feet, 1 feet, and right then "bam" in my mind the shark attacked me. My panic attack had climaxed, and I flipped off my board into the waist deep water thinking to myself, "Ok, you got me Mr. Reaper fish shark, I’m dead". Suddenly, I stood up, and the shark wasn't there. Hallelujah!! As I walked towards shore, thoughts began racing in my brain like "Dude, you just freaked yourself totally out” and "Dude, you just got kicked out of the water by a shark after only 2 minutes, and I didn't even get your hair wet." I walked slowly, all slumped over, across the beach. The cold water shrank my ego and my manhood into a Vienna sausage, and the sadness of getting my butt kicked by nature when only a few minutes ago I was the macho man of the world felt sickening and wrong. Back at the beach babe, I quickly brushed the sand off my ego, and now had a new story to tell her of how I battled the shark, nudeness and all!!”
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I hear stories all the time about somebody surfing nude or wanting to surf nude. I think it is the basic “Hey, let’s all get naked” kinda thing just transposed into surfing.” Lots’a people just like not wearing clothes. To some it just feels good. To others it is terrifying or even “nasty.” And to some of us it is just plain embarrassing….. that would be the story in my case. But I did experience surfing nude one time when I was younger and not in the heinous condition that I am in now. I can testify that it was not all that much fun and also is dangerous and pretty uncomfortable too. You do NOT want wax rash in some areas of the body, trust me. And other tender little spots were not meant to slap against the water in a wipe out. That is way more pain than any human being should be made to feel. Plus if you use sunblock then your board will become so slippery you can’t surf on it and if you don’t use sunblock…. Well…. It’s not good. So dudes, keep your shorts on please. Now for you surf babes it’s a whole different matter.

THE BLIND DOG
The Wave ~ 1-9-08
By Corky Carroll

This story is about a dude known as the “Blind Dog.” Also known as Perro Ciego. Not to be confused with the notorious Blue Dog a.k.a. Perro Azul. This dude is one of the most hard-core surfers in Huntington Beach. His real world name is Phil Reed. He is legally blind and pretty much can’t see anything either. He says that when you can't see the lineup every session is a great one! Starting to learn something as difficult as surfing with a couple of roadblocks can be hard. This dude has more roadblocks than a dirt road to Baja! He named himself Blind Dog when he started surfing at the ripe old age of 36. He surfs all the time and has been at it for around 20 years. Learning to surf that late in life can really be a challenge. You need to be really serious about it.

But being legally blind too can make it almost impossible! His optic nerves were damaged from a brain tumor, which was successfully removed. Bad depth perception and everything just kinda being a blurr are his challenges. Blind Dog's first surfboard was left behind by a deadbeat roommate skipping out on the rent. Living in downtown Huntington Beach he decided to give it a try. Bad idea! It was a vintage 1970's board that hardly floated him. Not ready to give up he went to the Robert August shop and bought a used longboard. He started out a regular foot but eventually discovered he was a goofyfoot. As a courtesy when he makes it out to the line up he warns fellow surfers about his vision problems. This guy even has a red tip on his surfboard like his cane! You can usually find Blind Dog out on either side of the pier depending on the current. A lesson he learned from a few collisions with the pilings. Surf injuries include numerous cuts, scrapes and broken bones. If you got 20 minutes ask him about 'em and he has a story for every for every scar.

Not being able to drive, and living almost a mile from the beach, he invented this little surfboard cart that matches his board. When he's pulling it down the boardwalk it kinda looks like a surfboard with training wheels. Blind Dog has a lot of respect for the ocean and the environment. He's the only guy I know that will get out of the water to take a leak! "Do no harm" and "Don't pee in my ocean!" So says the Blind Dog.

The dude’s apartment is filled with surfboards, surf posters and all kinds of surfing nick-knacks. Whenever the big surf contests are in town he's usually the first guy in line to get the signed surf posters.

He's just happy going straight off in the whitewater if he has to. As long as he's surfing. I noticed that his surfboard fins have a flat section at the tip from riding waves all the way to the sand. In his spare time he writes poetry that is usually surfing related. He has what he calls the "boneyard". Broken halves of surfboards that kind of look like tombstones.

Blind Dog has lived in HB since 1978. George “Mayor of Main Street” Lambert at the old brick Robert August shop gave him the name "Perro Ciego". A surf trip for Blind Dog can be a quick run to Bolsa Chica. One time he even got to surf San Onofre. The guy was so stoked you would think he was surfing some exotic break in the South Pacific. Somehow this dude can make a wetsuit last over 5 years. He also has one extremely hairy back! He has so much fur I’m surprised he even needs a wetsuit! Since G-boy Lambert got him tuned into the right board for him he will only ride Robert August surfboards. Blind dog also collects surf videos, an interesting thing for a person who can hardly see them. His favorites are the 60's and 70's classics. He uses a cane to walk around town and gets around on the Orange County bus system.

So the next time you are out surfing and get angry about sometime that really could matter less, think about how difficult it would be for you out there if you could hardly see the nose of your board. Then ask yourself how hard-core you really are. I know if I get a sty I am out of the water for a week. This dude is my hero.