FAIRABUNGA 8-1-07
By Corky Carroll
As most of you probably know by now the theme of this years Orange County Fair is “Cowabunga.” This is a term that I have used often for most of my life. Most people would have thought that I would have grown out of this shortly after the cancellation of the Soupy Sales television series. But noooooooo. I never did. And I love cow art. For the past dozen or so years all my surfboards have been cow air-sprayed. I actively campaigned to have the surfing cow on the milk trucks named “Corky,” but it seems that their “name the cow” contest was not a real deal. Something that milk company should be ashamed about by the way. Anyway, it’s more than “fair” to say that I am pretty much very active in the cow theme category.
When they announced that the theme of the fair was going to be Cowabunga everybody I know sent me emails. “So, what are you gonna do at the fair…..for the fair…about the fair….etc. etc. etc.” Everybody, except the fair. I almost thought of not going just because I was getting tired of hearing about it.
But that would have been silly and I am glad we decided to go check it out. I, for one, absolutely loved it. So did my wife, the Muy Bonita Karlita. There were surfing cows everywhere. All the booths had cool stuff but the best cow art I saw was a poster in the “co-dependency” booth that had three cow buddies hangin’ out clad in surfwear. I wanted it but the dude in the booth told me it wasn’t for sale and was more interested to find out if I was “co-dependent” or not. I have to admit that I am not really sure what that is. Is that like some sort of addiction sort of thing? I didn’t know so I told the dude that I didn’t think I was but I liked the cow art poster anyway. He tried to strike up a meaningful conversation but we beat it out of there quickly.
My favorite part of the fair is always checking out all the cool and unusual new products. I am a total sucker for all that stuff and always buy just about anything and everything that seems cool and unique. And this year was no exception. The first thing we bought were these cool hair things that I think are called “quick buns” or something close to that. The girl in the booth put one in the Muy Bonita Karlita’s hair and it looked fantastic. She already has the best buns on the planet but the two new ones in her hair were totally cool too.
Then there was the wonder-soap that made my old lizard hands feel and look like new. It was mink soap or something and the girl in the booth took ten minutes rubbing it into my hands and it felt really good and I had to have it.
My favorite area was called “bar-b-que Island.” They had the coolest bar-b-ques I have ever seen in my life. They came complete with bars and fridges and waterfalls and tiki huts and just about everything except hula babes. Maybe they had those too but I didn’t see any.
The wall-mount aquariums were a hit with both the Muy Bonita and myself. We are gonna get one of those, way, way, way cool.
But the one thing that got me the most was this so called “miracle sponge” that was touted to “do the thinking for you.” THAT is something I need. The dude said it would do the dishes, clean your butt and wash the car all in one wetting. Wow, who could resist that? And it just so happened that I had just lost a bet to the Muy Bonita where I had to give her thirty minutes of what ever she wanted. When I made the bet I was thinking something romantic but when I lost the bet the Muy Bonita told me I had to put thirty minutes into cleaning the kitchen. Geeze. So I figured this miracle sponge that would do the thinking for me was just the ticket. Especially since I had no idea where to start. So I bought the sponge and took it home. The next day I went into the kitchen and laid it down and waited for it to go to work. Nothing happened. Maybe it was thinking that it didn’t feel like cleaning the kitchen just like I was. When the Muy Bonita got home and the dishes were still dirty I blamed it all on the miracle sponge. She was not amused.
PADDLE OUT GONE WRONG
The wave ~ 8-1-07
By Corky Carroll
One of the hardest parts of becoming a surfing senior citizen, or as is more often used as a more apt description within the surf community, a geezer, is that more and more people you know keep passing away. It gets to be a drag getting the news that somebody that you know, who more often than not is even younger than you has moved on to the big perfect wave in the sky. Or perhaps the big closed out shorebreak with the nasty rocks and boiling water with biting sharks down below.
Last week I sadly wrote about local surf legend Rocky Freeman moving on. This week I am going to write about another surfer who for what will become obvious reasons I am going to leave un-named. There is good reason for that.
There is a custom within the surfing world that when a member of the surf community dies all his friends throw him, or her, a “paddle out.” A paddle out is sort of like a surfers version of a funeral. Everyone paddles out beyond the persons favorite local surf break and arranges himself or herself in a circle. Many time leis or flowers are tossed into the middle of the circle. Then each person in the circle says something about the person who has died and a few prayers are said and everyone paddles in and heads to the party, which is sort of a surfer’s version of a wake. In cases where the deceased has been cremated it is the custom to spread the ashes in the circle as the prayers are said.
Normally these paddle out sessions are pretty sad and sentimental and are much like a normal funeral except it is held in the ocean and on surfboards. Nonetheless the vibe is about the same, solemn and reverent and all that. Occasionally somebody will say something funny, like at a funeral, but it is always in good taste and done with love and honor for the deceased surfer. Hardly ever do these surf ceremonies get away from normal custom. Hardly ever.
Well, I guess you can tell by when I say “hardy ever” it means that once in awhile one does. And this obviously is the story of one that went wrong. Very, very, wrong.
A local surfer from Newport Beach recently passed away and a paddle out was set up. This particular dude was also sort of a party animal and very well known for overdoing it in the area of tequila. Let’s call him Tequila Tom for this occasion. That was not his real name, but it was very close to that. The day of Tequila Tom’s paddle out all of his buddies where there in the circle and somebody thought it only right that they all pass around a very large family sized bottle of Tom’s favorite tequila. And as each one said his or her thing about Tom they ended it by taking a large slug of the tequila. As it was a very large bottle this went around a few times and more things were said and it started getting more funny than serious. Finally it became time for the ashes to be spread into the circle. The ash bearer, I guess you would call him that, held up the urn and reached in a grabbed a handful of Tequila Tom and instead of spreading him on the water he laughed and tossed them all over the dude sitting next to him. One thing led to another and soon a full on dead guy’s ashes fight ensued. And, I guess more appropriately than not this is how Tequila Tom got buried off the lineup of one of Newport Beach’s more popular surf spots.
So wrong, so very wrong. Yet, at the same time, in this case probably the right thing for this dude. He lived a party animal and died a party animal. Might as well be sent off the same way. I am sure Tequila Tom was loving the whole thing.